In the silence and the pain, the words come together quickly. I search for a quote about deafening silence and find this lyric to a song I’ve never heard:
“The silence is deafening; I hear my heart moan.” – John Parr (Running the Endless Mile)
Silence can be deafening, and pain can overwhelm. Words can pierce the heart and cause your soul to ache unbearable. You’re left broken, open. The quiet is loud, maddening. In the stillness, you can hear your own heart moan.
I’m forced to reflect, to look inward. To discover why the pain is present. That’s when I realize it – I’m no longer numb. The hurt in the words spoken shocked me to the core – but I can feel again.
Now I’m wondering which is worse: being numb, or feeling the pain?
I sit in the silence. Listen to my heart moaning. Feel the warmth of the sun shining in past the cold, through the windows. And I’m convinced: it’s much better to feel the sting.
Not to wallow in the pain but to identify it and be changed by it.
To quicken me back into my Father’s arms, where I belong.
To fix my eyes on Him again – the One who sees all and knows all.
To exchange the world’s lies for the Truth in His Word. Even the lies that scream we’ll never be good enough. (We don’t have to be good enough – because God is more than enough.)
To release all the bitter ache and ugly offense and be wrapped in His blanket of love and grace.
To remember that light shines brightest in the darkness. That our hearts, deep within – though surrounded by dark – have seen and witnessed and felt the warmth of a great light – Jesus.
“And the Light shines on in the darkness, for the darkness has never overpowered it [put it out or absorbed it or appropriated it, and is unreceptive to it].” – John 1:5 AMP
In the midst of darkness, in the uncomfortable quiet, in the unrelenting pain, may we be faithful to reflect His light. May we be vessels that shine forth His light. Without Him, our source, our light can dim and fade into the darkness.
God is with you, He is for you, and He loves you. So shine on… even when pain is present.
P.S. If you haven’t picked up a copy of Ann Voskamp’s new book, The Broken Way, I highly recommend it!! Click here for more info!